Trying to remember that it ALWAYS works out

This is one of my favorite pictures of my host family. We taught them how to make cookies and they were sooooooo excited. My mama was the most

I'm not exaggerating when I say that the first thingI do every morning at 5:45 am when I wake up is open my computer praying to see a response from the International School in Tanzania. I'm also guilty of constantly checking the "job opportunities" page numerous times a day to make sure the page has not been updated and the positions are still open. And yes, I purchased Skype credit so I could attempt to contact the school (which means trying to get through at about 9:30 pm my time). It is safe to say that I have become a little wrapped up in the idea of moving and teaching at the International school. Maybe too wrapped up?

Since I have been back I imagine myself getting off the plane in Arusha, moving into my boarding house on the Arusha campus, having my classroom full of diverse international students, spending weekends at Rehama's orphange and weeknights having dinner with my wonderful host family. I can see myself there. It seems so real and honestly I can't see myself anywhere else. But its been two weeks since I've sent in my application forms and after failing skype attempts and follow-up emails, I have still not heard anything. Maybe I'm stressing out too soon and not giving it enough time...maybe they gazed at my stuff and thought why would we hire this 22 year old to teach our ex-patriot families? Am I kicking myself for not visiting the school while I was in Tanzania (passing it literally everyday on my way to St. Margaret's)? Yes, I am deeply regreting not doing that.

In the midst of all of this unknown and frustration, I'm remembering that everything has always worked out. Last year when I had my heart set on Teach for America and was devastated when I didn't get in, the door opened up for the MIT and I could not be happier. So maybe while I think that it makes the most sense to be in Tanzania teaching next year, it might not be God's plan and he might have something better for me. I'm constantly praying for peace of heart in this situation and to not freak out too much about the future. I am young and there are endless opportunities. If God closes a door, he opens a window.

Thanks for listening to this vent session! If I do move to Tanzania, the next Corner House reunion will have to be there...DUHHHHH. If I don't move to Tanzania, well then I get to see more often :)

Oh yes, and student teaching is going amazingly well (another thing that worked out). I love my second graders. I love teaching them and I have no doubt that this is my life calling.